I will not talk like a hard-core Muslimah here; I will speak being your friend or being your mate because it may be possible that I am making some mistake on my side that I refrain people from doing. In this way, my words will not affect the readers. We cannot advise others to do such good deeds that we do not do. To inform others, we have to follow it first on our side.
I have seen this in our society, most frequently, that when two people fall in love with each other, even if their interaction is very pure and clean. Things seem to be pretty familiar to us because no one is crossing any limit. But the thing is, how long are you willing to continue something like this? Isn’t it okay to accept the person you love according to the Shariya as soon as possible? Why do people keep on dragging these things for a couple of years? When you have found your soulmate, why not do it early?
At this moment, I request boys to muster up some courage kindly. If you genuinely love her and want her to be your wife, convince your family. It is not a sin to do love-marriage, but it is a sin when you love and do not marry. You must convince your family and stop putting excuses and delays. If you are to put reasons, then better leave her on her own. If you are to delay the commitment, then better leave her alone. It is good to hurt her for a day than to hurt her for months or even years by keeping her in a dwindling situation. Please think about making Hilal commitment right away when you even decide it in your mind that you want her to be your wife. I do not understand why people like to suspend the other person for such a long time. I do not understand why people like to put the other person in a blind alley. Yes, boys suspend the girl’s life in this way, and they have only one excuse, “I NEED TO GET A STABLE FINANCIAL LIFE FIRST.” Okay, no one is stopping you from that, but atleast you can go for a simple Nikkah with your family’s consent and do not take her home right after Nikkah. Take whatever time it may take to get settled and then take her home. Simple! But I request our youth to promote Nikkah culture. Muhammad (PBUH) also said that we should make Nikkah easy, so there would be no fornication. And you know what, maybe some people are unaware of it, but fornication has taken different forms in our society. Even in this Islamic Republic country, there are many haraam (strongly prohibited) things happening in the background, and we do not even know about it all.
Even in our Pakistani families, they let two people get engaged, and then they let them talk and meet freely. It is similar to having a boyfriend or girlfriend, but the difference is that you have the consent of your family, nothing more than that. Engagement does not mean that you are a husband-wife. I wonder if they oppose boyfriend-girlfriend culture, why don’t they oppose this engagement culture? Just because they allowed it, made it Hilal? They are still Na-Mehrams (non-married), how can you allow them to hang out alone? Please let them Nikkahfied and then allow them to go to shopping or restaurants or whatever. But that should also be done in the limits. There is a need to teach our society from scratch about how to get things done. We are in a state of sheer negligence.